Online Dating Special (pt 2): The Cheaters, Ashley Madison, AOL Screen Names, Murdering Monogamy, Pandemic Affairs, Flirty Fembots

How the Times Have Changed

This week I wanted to explore how the inception of online connections changed the trends in monogamy in the 2000's through present day.

So - Since the inception of chat rooms, the internet became practically a breeding ground for naughty behavior. We quickly learned - in the 90's when we started to have the ability to chat and email with others that the definition of infidelity needed to be redefined to include consideration for online relationships. I remember this shift happening and a lot of conversations around it - like storylines on prime time tv which quickly became fodder for a like your Sally Jessie Raphaels. Do you remember this Amanda?

AOL in the 90's I remember was this insane space to connect suddenly with anyone and it was the wild, wild west. There were no restrictions - I mean, Amanda, you have seen PEN15 - this was real. Parents had no idea that this was like a cesspool of potential stranger danger and most kids (myself included - particularly coming from a relitively sheltered upbringing) had literally no concept of this new weird world around them. My sister Stephanie https://worldbrides.org/sv/estniska-brudar/ would kill me if I didn't mention this story. So in 1996 Swingers the movie rose to widespread popularity when I was 16 (BTW doesn't hold up) - it was also when AOL chat was sweeping the nation and we were all setting up our screen names. So I chose Swinger as my handle after this trendy word and AOL gave me some assorted numbers since there were already some “Swingers” - So I was Swinger689. Naturally from the Midwest in the 90's and very naive we really had no idea that I basically had the ultimate chat name to get propositioned and had no idea that Swinger also was some other more sexual meanings. Everytime I was in a chat room dudes were always trying to take me into a private chat - i kinda thought that was normal - and i always declined because of course i had no interest in talking to strange men - I mean I am pretty sure I had my age in my profile - like I am 16 or 17 YO female so that was just kindling for the creeps.

Anyway - The newfound ability to covertly have conversations created a whole new set of circumstances and definitions of what “infidelity” means - and even the more lazy or socially distanced cheaters had access to potential cheating options. So this definition had to include a romantic and/or sexual relationship with someone other than the spouse or significant other, which begins with an online contact and is maintained mainly through electronic conversations that occur through e-mail and chat rooms.

The Polls are In

Last year (so in 2020), a YouGov poll found that some 17% of users across all dating apps were there to cheat on their current partners.

More Monogomy Moves

There was an interesting trend in Monogamy happening in the 2000s - essentially before the early aughts and through the 90's people 18-55 were more likely to have extra the lines essentially CROSSED and it switched. And the older folks reported more affairs - and like quite a lot more - according to a survey done by Institute for Family Studies while the 18-55 severely declined.

So this was an ongoing trend happening -right on up to the pandemic - But then COVID hit and all bets were off and marriages showing cracks. Which helps me slide right into my main segment.

Ashley Madison - the online dating site founded in 2002 for arital affairs is reportedly having a boon year because of the pandemic. So you may remember Ashley Madison - who had a seriously insane hack that destroyed a lot of lives in 2015. Anyone who remembers this may ask - woah are they still around? Yes, they are and doing quite well may I add.